Movies I've Seen

Presenting the long awaited SuperSized Movie Review post.

Marvel at it's redundance.

Not only is one of these films no longer showing in cinemas, but two are already out on DVD.

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2:37
(official / imdb)

The debut film from Australian director/writer Murali K. Thalluri, this film packs one hell of a punch. Whilst 2:37 has alot to say, and does it well, about the pains of adolescence and high-school life, there are only two scenes anyone will be talking about.

One scene portrays a severely disturbing rape, the other the suicide that marks the beginning and end of the film. Both are equally graphic, but it's the latter that'll have you covering your eyes - I've never seen a film portray suicide in a such a real and horrific way.

It's powerful and disturbing stuff.


4 Stars

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United 93
(official / imdb)

If you had asked me about this film a week ago, you'd have heard me adamantly claim I had no intention whatsoever of seeing it.

But after reading seven thousand five star reviews, I caved and agreed to chaperone my lovely girlfriend to what I hoped would be an enjoyable evening at the cinema.

About an hour into the film, that very girlfriend turned to me and requested that we quietly, but very promptly - leave.

As I was curled up in a ball with my eyes closed at the time - I obliged.

But some questions remain.

Is it too soon for such a realistic and graphic film to be made about September 11?

Am I a wimp for being so affected by it?

Is the film getting five star reviews because it's a great film, or because no-one has the guts to say anything bad about such a delicate subject?

There's no denying this is a powerful fucking film - but is it too powerful? Should we really be seeing shit like this up on the big screen? Does turning these events into Hollywood fodder belittle the victims, or does it empower them?

Fucked if i know, I just wanted some popcorn.


? Stars

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Jindabyne
(official / imdb)

As long as I can remember, the general rule with Australian films is this; if you must go and see one, make sure you walk in with a nice and healthy expectation of mediocrity. It's a great system and has worked for many years.

But ever since a handful of excellent local offerings hit screens last year, I've found myself expecting more from the average Australian film - especially one receiving the level of high praise in the press Jindabyne has received

So did the film live up to my unhealthy high expectations

Of course not.

Why make an Australian film, in an Australian setting - with two international actors playing the leads? The presence of Gabriel Byrne and Laura Linney, whilst their performances were good, was never justified.

The actual story is mildly interesting at best. A group of fishing buddies discover the body of a young aboriginal girl, and rather than reporting the sighting they complete their weekend away before calling the police. The men and their families then get yelled at and yell at each other for about forty minutes.

The excellent performance from Deborra-Lee Furness rates a mention though, with the kind of classic "gruff wife and grandmother" role you just know Noni Hazelhurst would've been proud to sink her teeth into

Jindabyne's not the best Australian film you'll see this year, and not even the best you'll read about in this post - but there's alot of hype out there, so I guess someone's loving it


3 Stars

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Superman Returns
(official / imdb)

If the last five years or so have heralded a Renaissance of the comic book adaptation, it was only a matter of time before this old chestnut was dragged out for another spin - particularly after last years highly successful (and surprisingly good!) reinvention of the Batman franchise.

It's been a long time since Christopher Reeve first donned the cape and red underpants - and I think the idea of the common caped crusader has changed. I don't speak for all audiences, but I look for a bit more humanity in my superheros these days. Not some nancy-boy from another planet flying around a city, occasionally stopping a train from derailing or capturing people inside magic boxes and hurtling them into space.

So how does Superman measure up in 2006

This reviewer says - fairly well!

The special effects were not too overdone, newcomer Brandon Routh didn't suck, there was a token great actor playing the villain (Kevin Spacey joins the ranks of such favorites as Jack Nicholson, Alfred Molina, Willem Dafoe and to a much lesser extent, John Malkovich.)

My real problem with this film was within the plot itself. So much time and energy went into setting up the climactic moments of this film, and when you finally get there there's no payoff. At least in your Spidermans and your Batmans you get some decent fight scenes and action sequences - Superman Returns has hardly any of this.

Sure, this film was probably directed at a younger audience - but is it too much to ask for Superman to kick someone's head in occasionally?

I don't think so.


2.5 Stars

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
(official / imdb)

I like pirates.

They wear eyepatches, talk to parrots and kill people.

What don't they do? Anything in these ridiculous films.

Buuut... being a firm believer in the 'Johnny Depp can do no wrong' loophole in Hollywood, I didn't hate Pirates Of The Carribean, and I didn't hate this - the inevitable yet completely unecessary sequel.

Unlike the darker and Geoffrey Rush containing first instalment, Dead Man's Chest is alot, how should I say, stupider. Large rolling objects seem to be the order of the day, and any semblence of coherant storytelling is quickly overpowered by numerous swordfights and extended chase sequences.

If you like films with subtlety, meaning and complex symbolism - this is not the film for you. Conversely, if you like flashing lights, pretty pictures and ruff and tuff manly swordplay - this is a must see.

The rest of us lie somewhere in the middle.


3 Stars

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Candy
(official / imdb)

The sprawling love story of two heroin addicts, Candy is a powerful film with equally powerful performances from an impressive cast. Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish work well as the two leads, with Geoffrey Rush, Tony Martin and the almighty Noni Hazelhurst (in an almost identical role from last year's Little Fish) playing support.

Seeing as I've got three more films to go and my attention is waning - I won't say much more, but this is an excellent Australian film worthy of your time

But beware that tragic birth scene - it'll break your heart.


3.5 Stars

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X-Men 3: The Last Stand
(official / imdb)

If Superman Returns could be accused of not having enough meat in the plot - X-Men 3 could easily be accused of the opposite.

Anything that could happen does in this third installment - and when three major characters are killed off in the first thirty minutes alone, you realise this is not your average comic book film

So with shocks a plenty and an interesting plot, X-Men 3 is certainly a cut above the rest in terms of action films. Plus the special effects are amazing - several scenes in this film must have been so damn expensive it makes you sad that people are willing to spend that much money on a movie about mutants. But hey, it looked fucken cool


3 Stars

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Match Point
(official / imdb)

A Woody Allen film without Woody Allen in it? Genius!

4 Stars

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A History Of Violence
(official / imdb)

There's so much 'David Cronenberg is a genius' fluff in reviews for this film - if you ask me the whole thing stinks like a bad cinema studies tute.

Speaking of stinks - I hated this movie

Terrible performances (the younger cast members were particularly cringe-worthy), a bizarre non-sensical plot and the most awkwardly graphic sex scene you're ever likely to see do not make for a great film.

I'm no prude, but is it really necessary to see a 69 outside the confines of your friendly neighborhood porn

I didn't get this film - all Cronenberg fans are directed to comment and explain this to me

Until then...


2 Stars

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